Stupid things my coworker has said

The only thing you need to know before reading these is that the guy, Justin, wears his hair in a "half-hawk." This means he shaved all of his hair except a strip on top, which, as he says, he pulls back into such a tight ponytail that he's going bald. One person compared his hair to a Davy Crockett hat. And that's damn accurate. Get the picture? Here are the quotes.

Ok, I'm sure I'll have plenty more material in the days ahead now that I've committed myself to bringing a little notepad to work.